The Mis-Education of Oprah Winfrey

The Mayan calendar got the world going down to bits on 12/21/2012, that's when all of the world will be destroyed and the only people left are the remnants of silicones from titties and lips will be left. If you believe that then you watching too much porn and read too many books. Those characters who said the world ending on May 21^st 2011 just might be right  but a lot of us got vacations to go on,so that won't happen. On May 25^th, 2011, at 5pm, that's when all housewives and non-achievers will have to find another form of television to fill their hearts and minds with joy and pain. Because at that time, Oprah "Harpo" Winfrey will no longer be hypnotizing women with her quips on how women don't need no man to do shit for them. 

Yes people, at that precise time women all over the world will not know what to do with their lives anymore. There will no longer be a blueprint of what favorite things you should have each season. No more stories of how child pedophiles who get married and had kids only to be touching little Amber's friends whenever they come over. No more of Harpo being a groupie and dickriding every person that comes on her show, even though she hated their fucking guts. Shit I'm still waiting for her to really confront her views on rap with a real panel of 50 Cent, Snoop, Eminem, Bun B, Talib Kweli, and Monie Love; she wouldn't dare have those hoodlums and Neanderthals up there. 

…Oh Harpo. Harpo, Harpo, Harpo…


The accomplishments of Harpo broke the rules of the White Man's Nigger Matrix and made the principles of Willie Lynch re-write themselves. She came from the gutter of the swamps of Mississippi, moved to Chicago, and from that move she's been involved in TV and since then becoming a self-made conglomerate in her own right.  Let's be real, she ran 4pm like Barksdale-Bell was running those corners (Wire reference, if you don't know, get familiar). She first was trying to be in the lane of Donahue and Sally Jesse then create her own highway of peace and prosperity worldwide. My grandma, moms, aunt, would devote the 4-5pm slot just for Harpo. Shit, every wife, hoe, and side chick would have that hour for her. Now she's about to leave her block? She really going to give up on the game like that?

Right now many of the fellas are screaming "About fucking time she off TV! Now my lady can go and make 4 o' clock the time to cook something."

Nah my male friend, not in the least bit. What is going to happen now is, and I'll make it brief, the simple "why don't we spend more time together" convo. See Harpo was the grown woman's baby sitter, where women would shut the fuck up and be silent for one straight hour, which is 4hrs in relationship time. This means you had the freedom to watch porno, stop at the bar from work, and give yourself that bubble bath with all the trimmings. See ALL that's gone now because she going to take that from you to spend quality time. This leads to the highway of death aka love and marriage. This leads to "baby, I didn't know you had a whole TB of porn on your hard drive." Which leads to "who are these friends you go out drinking with? I don't know them." Yeah my dude, laugh now about Harpo leaving, but you going to cry later.

So I bid farewell to Oprah Winfrey aka Harpo aka the ruler of all females no matter their race or religion. It's bittersweet because you did help me smash plenty-o-chicks with "yeah I seen that Oprah show." Damn....I could never use that line no more. I actually got to spend time and listen to what these strags say now.

Q Busy: LIKE HELL WE DO!!! We still got football and basketball to ignore them with

Q Double: Nah my dude. That might get locked out this year. We really got no choice but to spend time with the womenfolk.


Yes Miss Oprah Gail Winfrey, you will be truly missed to us all. What's left for women to guide them to the promise land is Wendy Williams, Basketball Strags, and Real Housewhores of WhodafuckCares County.