Average Mans Guide To Packing For A Weekend Trip

Its the summer, time to use all those hard earned vacation days to go somewhere, meet women, jet ski, meet more women, drink, and do Cirque De soleil tactics to sneak out of their hotel room. Before you can begin using a fake name and number, you got to make sure you pack the necessary items to make the vacay a success. First things first; if you like to pack 5 pairs of sneakers for a 3-Day getaway, this is not for you. Matter of fact, Man Law states this is a act of feminine ways and your Man Card should be revoked for the summer. No man should be packing more shoes than a female, no one. One luggage just for you jordans and dunks, hope you didn't forget your make-up kit.

Make sure everything fits in a carry-on

Its only a weekend trip, you got no time to be waiting for baggage claim when you spotting some cuties already leaving the terminal. You got to get off that plane and be ready to go, hail a cab or jump in the cab with a lady and begin the weekend right.

Keep the shit simple when it come to clothing

  One pair of jeans, Two dope shirts, One dress shirt. The whole point is not to keep going back and forth to the hotel to change. Most of the time when you get back to the hotel, you want to take a quick nap, which ends up being 5 hrs wasted. Have a drawstring bag (no fanny pack) and keep a towel (this is clutch for the hot weather places), and undershirt, just in case. Slippers, 2 sneakers, should do the trick. Make sure one has that "night life" look, like Dom Kennedy said "can't where Lebrons to the club. That shit is corny."

....But Q, what about draws, socks, and shit?....

That's personal preference. What I look like telling another man how many boxers he should pack. A carry-on gives you ample amount of room to carry as many as you want. There shouldn't be no amount. Sometimes, your boxers get ripped from one of those kinda nights, so from my experience, cop fresh pack of boxers, socks, and t-shirts (or wife beaters) and you're good to go.

Toothbrush: the fuck you think...

Deodorant: the fuck you think...


Along with the usual cologne, lotion, and condoms, this one should always, and I repeat ALWAYS, go into your luggage. This one tool can keep your confidence at 109% every time you step out on the town:

Andis T-Outliner

                       

Forget all the clothes, shoes, condoms, whatever, you have these clippers in your weekend arsenal your shape-up, baldy, beard can be in tip-top shape.

One thing for sure, make sure you carry a positive attitude. Leave the negative vibes at home. Make sure you music player has good music to keep your energy up. Because there's nothing worst then being that person who's ruins all the fun. You're there to enjoy yourself so do that.

What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

• It's warmer in the summer so during my morning fill-ups the gas flows quicker as opposed to slow flow in the winter. This is the reason gas prices go up in the summer. 

• The heat makes folks CRAZY cause the murder rate seems to jump up every time.

• Lil B had one of the dopest albums this summer. Big Sean too, and Game surprisingly. The summer wasn't right if you didn't have at least 8 Weeknd songs playing before you went out. 

• "Jawns with shaved heads think they're eccentric now. FOH!!!!!! They shave their head and now think they got the aura of Isis and the beauty of Cleopatra. Tryna eat whole foods and read Black Panther books and shit. Go put a weave back in ya hair and be independent and irreplaceable like Beyonce told yall hoes to be." 

• It’s possible to go to nothing but free events the whole summer and have a good time. Met a lot of dope people along the way. You haven't lived until you had 5 Irish car bombs and chased it with three 3 wise men. 

• Oh it’s still fuck you hipsters. Ole "let me be different because that should make people notice me" ass muhfuckas. 

• Rise of The Apes and Transformers were the dopest movies to come out this summer!

• Last minute decisions are the best decisions ever to be made in the history of life, except for pulling out. Trust ya instinct within that first tingle.

• 'Member in grade school where they had you read 'x' amount of books for the summer? I read 6 books this summer. I be damned if a hoe say I'm not eclectic, trick I read Siddhartha twice this summer while you were watching Basketball Strags and Scorned Ladies.

Can't forget "Crooked Smile"  

Crooked Smile Trailer-(Teaser) from M.Drumline Productions on Vimeo.

• Black people need to get that chip off their shoulder, have a good time and party. White people need more rhythm and seasoning in their food.

• Going on dates really aren't that bad. Why was I so against saying "I'm going out on a date?" I blame rap for brainwashing the masses. Yeah, I blame rap and Beyonce for all this shit now. 

• These ladies really going natural and shaving their head and all of a sudden transform into Angela Davis. The guys out here really think because they have 5 pairs of Foamposites their all of a sudden sneakerheads. The game is truly fucked up. 

• People purposely like to live their life miserable and boring just so they can talk about how much their life is miserable and boring. Lazy miserable fucks.

...And that's how I spent my vacation....just the part I felt like sharing.

Now let's get this football season going!!!!