Average Mans Guide To Packing For A Weekend Trip

Its the summer, time to use all those hard earned vacation days to go somewhere, meet women, jet ski, meet more women, drink, and do Cirque De soleil tactics to sneak out of their hotel room. Before you can begin using a fake name and number, you got to make sure you pack the necessary items to make the vacay a success. First things first; if you like to pack 5 pairs of sneakers for a 3-Day getaway, this is not for you. Matter of fact, Man Law states this is a act of feminine ways and your Man Card should be revoked for the summer. No man should be packing more shoes than a female, no one. One luggage just for you jordans and dunks, hope you didn't forget your make-up kit.

Make sure everything fits in a carry-on

Its only a weekend trip, you got no time to be waiting for baggage claim when you spotting some cuties already leaving the terminal. You got to get off that plane and be ready to go, hail a cab or jump in the cab with a lady and begin the weekend right.

Keep the shit simple when it come to clothing

  One pair of jeans, Two dope shirts, One dress shirt. The whole point is not to keep going back and forth to the hotel to change. Most of the time when you get back to the hotel, you want to take a quick nap, which ends up being 5 hrs wasted. Have a drawstring bag (no fanny pack) and keep a towel (this is clutch for the hot weather places), and undershirt, just in case. Slippers, 2 sneakers, should do the trick. Make sure one has that "night life" look, like Dom Kennedy said "can't where Lebrons to the club. That shit is corny."

....But Q, what about draws, socks, and shit?....

That's personal preference. What I look like telling another man how many boxers he should pack. A carry-on gives you ample amount of room to carry as many as you want. There shouldn't be no amount. Sometimes, your boxers get ripped from one of those kinda nights, so from my experience, cop fresh pack of boxers, socks, and t-shirts (or wife beaters) and you're good to go.

Toothbrush: the fuck you think...

Deodorant: the fuck you think...


Along with the usual cologne, lotion, and condoms, this one should always, and I repeat ALWAYS, go into your luggage. This one tool can keep your confidence at 109% every time you step out on the town:

Andis T-Outliner

                       

Forget all the clothes, shoes, condoms, whatever, you have these clippers in your weekend arsenal your shape-up, baldy, beard can be in tip-top shape.

One thing for sure, make sure you carry a positive attitude. Leave the negative vibes at home. Make sure you music player has good music to keep your energy up. Because there's nothing worst then being that person who's ruins all the fun. You're there to enjoy yourself so do that.

Randumb Words and Thoughts: The Power of Money

“…bitches don’t appreciate nothing man.

2 dollar bitches with 3 dollar haircuts…” – Lost Boyz

This has to be by far the best article I’ve read in Black Enterprise in a month or so.  If this shit don’t put things in perspective for you then by all means drink bleach because only the ignorant will not understand what this means. If you can, definitely pick up subscribe to Black Enterprise magazine and put it on your table so you and those around can learn something besides the usual mediatakeout.com, WSHH, and BET garbage.

This issue they have a series about women and money, yeah I know, it should just begin and end with “spend your own shit and stop stragging for the next mans money.” As I was reading, they had this insert about the wealth of the single black woman. This is when shit gets real:

Top 10 Books That Should Be In Your Library So You Can Be Great At Shit

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1.       Robert Greene "48 Laws of Power:"

This book is in more projects and house in Black America than any religious book. You can meet somebody a stone’s throw away and I 77% chance they know of are read this book. Managers and CEOs and drug kingpins live by this book because it’s a blueprint to all the shit that goes on in history. 50 Cent is the perfect example who followed these laws to a tee and ended up knocking out his competition and taking his spot. To only drop the same music his opponent was and made the masses forget who his opponent even was.  There’s a reason why this book is in the business section of bookstores, take note of that.

2.       Aesop’s Fables:

I bullshit you not I, and read the original version. Just goes to show that no matter how much as a people/culture we say we've evolved. “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing,” “The Miser,” “The Tortoise and the Hare,” those stories got morals that are good for you when you older and for the younger kids who don’t know shit. Those good old life lessons from way-back-when remain as relevant as ever.

3.       Sun Tzu "Art of War:"

Fuck all the philosophical shit, my man Sun Tzu teach you the art of killing a muhfucka with tactical skills and precise ingenuity. He teaches how to keep the moral of the army happy and satisfied so when the time of war comes they’re prepared and ready to go at it. This been translated into business form but in my opinion hold no weight to the original scrolls.

4.     The Man Law:

There really isn’t a book for this. That’s because Man Law should never be written, it should only be learned when in the company well inform and knowledgeable guys over drinks at the bar, the barber shop, sporting events, and never around the company of women. NEVER EVER around women. There’s been whispers of there being a Woman Law out there but that’s impossible because women can’t even keep a group of 10+ friends with them shitting on each other

5.      Merriam Webster’s Dictionary:

This is for all those who can’t right for shit. The ones who think there to good for this because they graduated the 5^th grade and that’s all the words you need to know. That is true you can keep that grammar and make it in this world. Because there will always be room for another to make fries when the kids come out of school for the after-school rush.

6.     Greek and Roman Mythology (and Norse and Egyptian fuck just read all things mythological):

Zeus, Athena, Anubis, Isis, Medusa, Mars, Apollo, Odin, Loki, Titans, Ragnarok, Hades, Prometheus, Venus, Asgard, Ra and all that other dope old school shit is the best ever!!! That shit might not work so I’ll say there’s dope art that they had back then that would be dope ass tattoos.

7.       The Autobiography of Malcolm X:

Read the book and stop telling people you know who Malcolm X is because he got shot by the man who said “get yo’ hands out my pocket!!!!!”

8.       Paulo Coelho "The Alchemist:"

This is one of these books that has a good story but means something different to people. Highly recommended to read and if you all need a co-sign, Will Smith swears by this book and he is highly successful and got a bad ass wife I wouldn’t mind making serious fuck too.

    9.       A Law Book: 

Why have the Constitution and a few law books in you library? Well, why the fuck not? Some people out there get there criminal advice from Law and Order, CSI shows. Then, if that doesn’t work, you go to the dude who was in juvie for 6 months because he should know the law, I mean, the muhfucka was in jail. Sometimes you can’t get your advice from someone who “heard” that’s what happens. Keep a law book in your house and pay attention to the court system because how you think Casey Anthony go off, wasn’t because she listen to Gucci Judicial Words of Wisdom.

10.   Steve Harvey "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man:"

We deliberated this one heavily; because here at I.S. we have no love lost for Mr. Hightower and his misguided, fuck boy ways of making this book and then another one after that.

…But…

I say have this book in your collection because most likely all these females out here following this bum ass advice when they out in the streets looking for a man so you might as well know what he spewing into their head. Strags out here really think that they’re meeting the family within 90 days or 6 months (some shit like that it been awhile since I looked in it) of a relationship. Steve Hightower gave females a book on trying to be men and now he gets called a “relationship guru.” Read this book and take it as a conversation starter.

I know I didn’t put Confucius or Shakespeare or James Baldwin or Dale Carnegie some other shit you might be mad at, my advice: go buy them shits too. This was only a template not the rules written in stone, this are books that you might need to get you to that level of higher power besides snorting up coke or smoke pounds of weed. The greatest power you can have is your mind, make use of the shit. 

Get Up, Get Out, and Get Something

There's nothing worse than laying on ya ass not doing nothing. Sitting back, chilling, watching all the soaps, all the talk shows, watching those Everest College commercials where they telling you to get up off your ass and get a job. It's the most depressing way to live. Muhfuckas will jump on Facebook for 25hrs and stalk people pages but won't even use that time to find what skills the got to do things in life. Muhfuckas are quick for a hand out but don't even want to put in that work to get there.

This here is just a few of the many ways simple, everyday things can be used to make you money. Because know that as time moves on, nobody wants to be that one who still waiting for their time to shine.

The Mis-Education of Oprah Winfrey

The Mayan calendar got the world going down to bits on 12/21/2012, that's when all of the world will be destroyed and the only people left are the remnants of silicones from titties and lips will be left. If you believe that then you watching too much porn and read too many books. Those characters who said the world ending on May 21^st 2011 just might be right  but a lot of us got vacations to go on,so that won't happen. On May 25^th, 2011, at 5pm, that's when all housewives and non-achievers will have to find another form of television to fill their hearts and minds with joy and pain. Because at that time, Oprah "Harpo" Winfrey will no longer be hypnotizing women with her quips on how women don't need no man to do shit for them. 

Yes people, at that precise time women all over the world will not know what to do with their lives anymore. There will no longer be a blueprint of what favorite things you should have each season. No more stories of how child pedophiles who get married and had kids only to be touching little Amber's friends whenever they come over. No more of Harpo being a groupie and dickriding every person that comes on her show, even though she hated their fucking guts. Shit I'm still waiting for her to really confront her views on rap with a real panel of 50 Cent, Snoop, Eminem, Bun B, Talib Kweli, and Monie Love; she wouldn't dare have those hoodlums and Neanderthals up there. 

…Oh Harpo. Harpo, Harpo, Harpo…


The accomplishments of Harpo broke the rules of the White Man's Nigger Matrix and made the principles of Willie Lynch re-write themselves. She came from the gutter of the swamps of Mississippi, moved to Chicago, and from that move she's been involved in TV and since then becoming a self-made conglomerate in her own right.  Let's be real, she ran 4pm like Barksdale-Bell was running those corners (Wire reference, if you don't know, get familiar). She first was trying to be in the lane of Donahue and Sally Jesse then create her own highway of peace and prosperity worldwide. My grandma, moms, aunt, would devote the 4-5pm slot just for Harpo. Shit, every wife, hoe, and side chick would have that hour for her. Now she's about to leave her block? She really going to give up on the game like that?

Right now many of the fellas are screaming "About fucking time she off TV! Now my lady can go and make 4 o' clock the time to cook something."

Nah my male friend, not in the least bit. What is going to happen now is, and I'll make it brief, the simple "why don't we spend more time together" convo. See Harpo was the grown woman's baby sitter, where women would shut the fuck up and be silent for one straight hour, which is 4hrs in relationship time. This means you had the freedom to watch porno, stop at the bar from work, and give yourself that bubble bath with all the trimmings. See ALL that's gone now because she going to take that from you to spend quality time. This leads to the highway of death aka love and marriage. This leads to "baby, I didn't know you had a whole TB of porn on your hard drive." Which leads to "who are these friends you go out drinking with? I don't know them." Yeah my dude, laugh now about Harpo leaving, but you going to cry later.

So I bid farewell to Oprah Winfrey aka Harpo aka the ruler of all females no matter their race or religion. It's bittersweet because you did help me smash plenty-o-chicks with "yeah I seen that Oprah show." Damn....I could never use that line no more. I actually got to spend time and listen to what these strags say now.

Q Busy: LIKE HELL WE DO!!! We still got football and basketball to ignore them with

Q Double: Nah my dude. That might get locked out this year. We really got no choice but to spend time with the womenfolk.


Yes Miss Oprah Gail Winfrey, you will be truly missed to us all. What's left for women to guide them to the promise land is Wendy Williams, Basketball Strags, and Real Housewhores of WhodafuckCares County.

Dinner Table

The table was the place where you and your family would sit at and talk.  Yeah……talk, you know, communication. Not too long ago, cell phones were suitcases and calling someone a twit was grounds to get fucked up, there was communication. One of the main places to have such communication was at the dinner table. The kids would get the silverware and placemats and place them on the table. Food is 10 minutes away from being done and the smells of spices and half-burned rice coming from the kitchen. Then when you heard "food's ready" you would push your kinfolk down a flight of stairs to get at the table first. No love lost, just a muhfucka hungry and need to eat. Then once everybody is at their seats, it's time to chow down.

11 for the '11

Last year I did a list of things that need to die and never see the light of the '10. Many people agreed but still UGGs remains here to be worn during rainy days while leaning to the side. So for the '11, I put together 11 things that will keep us going this year. Hopefully some take heed to this and become a better person.


So get you 4loko, smoke your black and here is the 11 for the '11.

Making Love vs. Making F*ck

The title of this piece explains it all. There's too many mixed signals when it comes to sex, so here at I.S. we have broken it down so there can be no further argument.

"If you have a deep connection with him then of course its love making," says one woman.

"My dude, come on, I only said all that shit just so I can get the booty. She best know we just fucking, says one man.

The confusion must end!!!!!

…Or…

Keep the confusion going. We love it when the world is in mass hysteria about having sex. It keeps our blood flowing.

Share this list with all friends, co-workers, companions, side pieces, strags, and the local hoodboogers. Because all Adults, Keyword: ADULTS, need to know the real.

So we present to you:

"Making Love vs. Making Fuck"

Q Double Answer Viewer Mail Pt. 3

Q Double: Q, I heard we got more fan mail and you not telling me. Why's that?

Q Busy: Cause yo trippin ass is still on your revolutionary pilgrimmage, seeking enlightenment and shit. I did get one that you might like though.

Q Double: Female? If it is, she got nude pics? I need a pick-me-up right now.

Q Busy: Nah no nudes, just a regular ass letter. A fan letter actually. I was kinda disappointed really. She happens to have a fat ass too. But no pics though.

Q Double: How the hell you know what her body look like then?!

*awkward silence*

Q Busy: Shut yo ass and read the letter. And hurry yo ass up and get back.

Here I Stand, A Grown Ass Child

So you're in your late 30s to early 40s. Through your own accounts and lifestyle, you consider yourself a grown ass man or woman. Nobody can tell you a damn thing. You're an adult, you handle yours. These young kids don't know anything about grinding to get their just due. They don't know about saving at the least 40% of your income so you can survive in the future. They don't know about a mortgage, taxes, and all the other responsibilities of being an "adult."

But what about you Mr/Mrs "Adult?" If you are in fact a grown ass man or woman, why are you trying to imitate these youngsters out here? Just because they are out here following the latest pop culture trend, what makes it cool for you--a grown ass man or woman--to follow suit? Oh, that's right. There's this rousing, inspirational saying that's motivating you right now. 

What's that shit again? "Crack is whack?"

No that's not it. Wait, wait I got it: "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." Nooo, no not it either. Aha, I got it--- 

"Forty is the new 30."