Dear B.E.T. Vol. 1

You more than likely don't know who I am. Better yet, I'm just a number to you. Mainly just ratings for you to keep your advertising up, rake in millions of dollars, and show more of your outstanding broadcasting that you have been serving for years.


I'm going to blunt here, I will try not to hold back too much as you and whoever is reading this will rip it up and not give it any notice. We're in the digital era, in that case I don't want you to throw your computer into the abyss and causing a meltdown inside your network.




But let me be clear and direct…

Your channel has been a piece of shit for that last few years. It hasn't got any better and if it continues to decline, consider me the first of many to petition for you to take that 'B' off of your name and from then on be called "The Nigger Network." Yes "The Nigger Network." Deal with it.


Let's just get to the gist of things, first off this is not a bash nor is it just to chastise your company. Not in the least bit. Well, maybe just a little bit. Consider this as constructive criticism, a "destroy and rebuild" process if you will. It's time you all finally realize the niggadumb shit that's you're a part of.

Numero Uno:
Some consider this the beginning of the end, the final lap of the B.E.T. era, that one last drug deal before you go and retire—which never happens cause they always end up dying.

One of the first fuck-ups was having the voluptuous, sexy, curvaceous and very articulated animated woman named Cita. Who decided to create that, let alone give the approval? Probably some old man who watched a crate of porn with 30 straight hours of "Soul Plane" while making her. He later brings this hood booger to life and apparently feels that this is how black women are seen and portrayed to the world.

Of course you have got to have exaggeration, it is TV, but come the fuck on!!! Not every black female cocks her hips back and does the neck swirl all the while talking about how she wants to get her hair did and how all these men are dogs.

Well then again, you might be right, that's not what this is about though.

Okay, next up:
The broad range of quality programming that many of your esteemed audience have loved to enjoy for many years. For example, the truth and depth of "College Hill" and how it really shows how hard college life truly is when there, is fucking fantastic.

How you get students together and have them bond and experience the rigors of college life, while capturing it on video, epic. Does every student at a HBCU --Historically Black College or University (for those that needed to know within your company)--sit in their house, and try to smash out every girl or guy that walks by?

Well not all of them…

Some actually go to class, have to worry about financial aid, GPA slipping, academic probation, and what oodles-o-noodles and/or Totino's pizza will be eaten today. REAL COLLEGE SHIT!!! All you guys did was create a VHS camcorder version of "The Real World," with a twist of "A Different World (lack thereof, I'm just being nice)," and forgot all about the substance that goes along with it.

We should look at some charts and check to see since the inception of that show, who can say they were inspired to go pursue a higher education:

You can clearly see, "College Hill" is really not about shit when it comes to any type of higher education. The whole premise is to get eight or so kids, who are already on academic suspension, put them in a house, and have them go ape shit. Liquor, sex, rappers, vacays, groupies and much more. What the fuck they need to go to class for? Better yet, did they even graduate from their schools?

By now you are almost done with your grape soda and down to your last two pieces of chicken. So before you get "The Itis" and slouch off on your seat, I will just make a brief rundown of all the shows and what we think of them.

• "Frankie and Neffe:" WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!!!!!!

"Baldwin Hills:" Going for the positive vibe ya know, show how black people look when they "make it". End result: A bunch of kids who wanted to have some hood appeal to be accepted. Next time just film in the hood and get that.

Speaking of hood…

• "Harlem Heights:" Tried to get the hood in this one which resulting in group of people who thought they were too good for shit. It did show a lot of promise though, not a lot of people actually try to uplift and revitalize where they grew up. Well some of them, the rest were snobs.
• "American Gangster:" Niggadumb at its finest. Shows like this…shows like this…shows like this.
  
• Hell Date," "Keyshia Cole," and "Tiny & Toya": *please see "Frankie and Neffe".

• All those marathons of every TV show, then airing them 8 times a year: Shits are cool the first go 'round. Then after seeing them again and again and again and again, I'd rather cuddle with a hood booger than watch "The Game" one more damn time!

• "106 and Park": Last of a dying breed. There ain't too many video shows left. Everybody watches this show, until they're eighteen. Any person in the audience of age 20 or older that doesn't have a child there, should be on "To Catch A Predator."

So there you go people over at B.E.T., this is just a taste of what a lot of people say about your channel. Not saying that you do show some quality programming, because the R. Kelly interview informed a lot of people that you can patiently wait for her to turn 18 just to get the panties. Don't worry, there's plenty more where this came from, I just would like for the company to open there eyes more.

*Update: I heard the BET Awards aired the other day. Not like I really cared, just that I have only a few brain cells left and I can't afford to waste them. Shit, good job bringing Chris Breezy for the MJ tribute, a fucking year later.