Word & Thoughts from Q Double: Election 2010

"No, if you never see me another time in your life, if I die in the morning, I'll die saying one thing: the ballot or the bullet, the ballot or the bullet." - Malcolm X



*takes sip of Gran Marnier*

*takes deep breath*



I gave up on black folk.

This may sound brash and racist to some people. So let me explain myself. The actual number hasn't been calculated yet, but on Twitter, people are saying 4.7%, and on some news channels they are saying roughly 10%. So let's average that and say 7.35% of African Americans went out and voted for Election Day 2010. 7.35 muhfuckin percent!!! I don't have the numbers from 2008 when Barack Obama was running, but I'm sure that the percentage for that time is higher than the percentage of alcohol in Hennessey. That goes to show the world that black Americans don't give a fuck about giving a fuck.

The Circularity of Damaged Relationships

Kiss me, feel the fireworks, watch the sky/I make you smile, but you’d rather have what makes you cry.

-Tupac Shakur (Jon B ‘Are You Still Down’)

Disclaimer: I’m not even supposed to be writing about this shit. Snugg and Q Double, this is more of their thing. There are plenty of dumb things out there happening right now that I, Q. Busy, could be ridiculing, satirizing or making fun of. But instead I’m here. Writing ANOTHER an article about—of all things—relationships.

To all of our faithful readers, yes, all three of you, I apologize in advance if this comes across as redundantnessousity (word I just made up). But this topic gives us SO fuckin much material that I don’t think it’ll ever tire upon us.

Q Double:

Whatever son, just hurry the hell up. It’s just about time you returned with a proper article. That “Relationships and Gum” shit barely even qualified as a tweet.

Q. Busy:

Fuck off. Tweet deez nigga.

Both:

@IncScribes

So sit back, relax, catch a contact, sip ya Cognac.

I present to you.

The Circularity of Damaged Relationships

Dear B.E.T. Vol. 1

You more than likely don't know who I am. Better yet, I'm just a number to you. Mainly just ratings for you to keep your advertising up, rake in millions of dollars, and show more of your outstanding broadcasting that you have been serving for years.


I'm going to blunt here, I will try not to hold back too much as you and whoever is reading this will rip it up and not give it any notice. We're in the digital era, in that case I don't want you to throw your computer into the abyss and causing a meltdown inside your network.




But let me be clear and direct…

Your channel has been a piece of shit for that last few years. It hasn't got any better and if it continues to decline, consider me the first of many to petition for you to take that 'B' off of your name and from then on be called "The Nigger Network." Yes "The Nigger Network." Deal with it.

Q. Busy Answers Viewer Mail Pt. 1

“Up in this bitch I’m what you might consider, an authority figure. Y’know everybody gotta get my help or ask my advice, like, on all kindsa shit.” –Avon Barksdale, ‘The Wire’ Season Five, Episode Two

Here at I.S. we receive lots and lots of fan mail commending us for our thankless efforts to educate and entertain the masses. And by “lots and lots” we mean, ‘not much at all’. Just a lot of death threats from: scorned ex-lovers, MySpace studio gangsters, and just plain ignant muhfuckas.

Still, with what we do receive, there are some gems to be found...and then there’s these. So without further ado, we present to you:

“Q. BUSY ANSWERS VIEWER MAIL”

P.S. Why is it ‘Viewer’ mail and not ‘Reader’ mail, you ask? Because you touch yourself at night that’s why. Besides...I call it what the hell I want to. Kill yo damn self.

And now, on with the show...

GTFOH!

Let me preface this by saying I do not have any kids, despite always being surrounded by them. I have eight siblings who have produced my ten Gerber-baby-quality nieces and nephews (its obvious where I get my sex drive and my looks honestly). Maybe they like me because my ample breasts remind them of mother's milk. But for whatever reason, I'm always toting somebody else's cute kids around.

Men get hit on when they are walking around with cute kids: “Are these your kids?? All seven of them are cute-- even the lil Chinese one... you got some strong genes, sexy.” *facepalm*

Women-- we get ignored by any potential man who is not looking for drama (although some men will try to hit on a women in her third trimester “At least I know she putting out”. If you are approached by this man, you should do the running).

Outbreak

DISCLAIMER: This news article is not an attack on the South. Just dumb sons of bitches in general. The author is actually from S.C. Still…kill yourself if you can’t take a joke.

OUTBREAK

By: Q. Busy

Contributions By: Matrix

"Fuck the dopeboy shit, to me it's played out/You still livin' wit ya moms runnin' ya mouth." -Rapper 'Matrix' on "Section 8 Anthem"

A virus has infiltrated and begun making its way through a small town in the upstate portion of the state of South Carolina. Officials are warning residents of Fountain Inn to be wary of the IaNR virus.

Uncharacteristic of many viruses, this particular strand of agent can be clearly seen without the aid of a light microscope and may easily replicate without being inside the living cells of another organism.

Early reports of those who have sighted the virus say that the virus normally travels in numbers of ten or more and are highly attracted to: tacky over-modified old automobiles, public displays of ignorance, and large wads of rubberbanded one-dollar bills.

Battle Cry

By: QBusy

“There is no spoon.” –Neo

Incredulous. Scribes.

Incredulous…….incredulous…I

Incredulous?

Okay so ‘Scribes’ is easy enough, akin to ‘script', which involves writing. SUBscribe, DEscribe, INscribe. Moreover, seeing as this is a blog that one isn’t too hard to figure out.

scribe n. - A writer or journalist.

If you are an able-minded adult with an internet connection who didn’t know that one then you have a rocky road ahead of you here at I.S.—go on and kill yoself now, but not before deleting your browsing history. We don’t want a loved one to find this post open near your body and be named as an accessory to your suicide.

But what is this ‘Incredulous’ of which we speak? Glad you asked.

in·cred·u·lous adj. - unwilling to admit or accept what is offered as true; skeptical

So what then? Skeptical Writers?

Well…yeah.

Skeptical. Cynical. Paranoid. Smug. Self-righteous. Offensive. Outrageous. And maybe even a little dangerous…okay A LOT dangerous.

Actually we came VERY close to naming our beloved blog ‘Dangerous Scribes’ but then we figured some of you all would get it confused with—or even worse, figure it was inspired by—the movie ‘Dangerous Minds’. And that would be disastrous, because we all know that that movie sucked so much ass.

And yes Coolio, you fucking suck as well. But don't worry, you always did. Just take a little comfort in the thought of someone out there knowing that you still exist.

Anyway, where were we?

Yes...skeptical/incredulous. "Unwilling to admit or accept what is offered as true." NOT that which has been proven to be true, but what is OFFERED as true. In short, we march to the beat of our own drum kit over here. Free thought, open expression, unpopular opinions and thinking outside of the box is the basis upon which this blog was founded.

Jam-packed full of comedy, commentary, controversy and critiques, and boasting a mob of pissed-off writers from the Rotten Apple, Michigan and all the way to the Dirty South, “Incredulous Scribes” has arrived, and we got a lot of shit of our mind…U Mad??

Drop by and kick it with us often won't you.