Inspiration Is There...

“Even shit has trace nutrients in it” – Old Man at the bar

This conversation lasted hours, not because we were bored, but because we were bored and drinking. As there were many choices, we had to condense it.

Prolifik: TV raised us man. Can you admit that?

Q Double: I mean, yeah, it raised us in ways, Sesame Street and Mister Rogers had us at a standstill.

Pro: Think about it man, we can quote “The Wire” for hours; we can break down a scene from “The Godfather” into life lessons. Shit man, TV and movies got the best life lessons out there.

Q Dub: Like the scene with Omar and Bunk in “The Wire,” where they talking about the days when the game was more structured and how it changed for the worse.

Pro: Indeed, that scene right there says a lot about the code and what----

Q Dub: Code! Code! That shit long gone.

Pro: Man! You know how many times I watched that scene. Muhfuckas would just hear the dialog, I paid attention to everything. The background, foreground, and paint color, all that shit. One of my favorite scenes from the show.

Q Dub: Fam, you really got to stop smoking.

Pro: Why the fuck for?!!!

Q Dub: *sigh* My shit is the scene in “The Social Network” when Sean Park talking to Mark about what he did to change the industry. Sean Parker basically said “fuck the rules, those days are over! Get money, do drugs, and fuck models!” That’s my go to movie when in a slump.

Prolifik: Yoooooooooo!!!! What about the Kid-n-Play dance scene in “House Party.” If you could pull the whole dance routine off you were the man.

Q Double: That’s when it was cool to dance; before we found out that being a wall flower was a better way of enjoying yourself.

Pro: House parties were epic man, epic! *opens up another beer*

Q Dub: That scene with Bodie and McNulty is Fire too. We he finally realized he just a pawn on the chessboard.

Pro: That was that full circle moment, do remember in the first season where D’Angelo was trying to teach them about chess. He really didn’t listen then. Now he finally got it, but it was too late. *sips beer*

Q Dub: Fake ass Socrates. *opens up another beer*

Pro: The Game is rigged man.

Q Dub: Greatest scene ever then??

Pro: When Michael got Vito killed. Shit was deep man.

Q Dub: Nah, whole Godfather was great, hard to put that into scenes.

Pro: Aiight, what you got?

-

Corniest Characters EVER!

Show: The Cosby Show

Character: Elvin played by

Roles since show was over: Like we fucking care, as long as he not Elvin.

What makes him horrible: His haircut. His nose. The fact he called Cliff "Dad." Not even that he called him "Dad," he asked for permission to call him "Dad." Sandra was the lamest child out of the Huxtables, they could of at least let her marry someone who wasn't a pushover. Instead they introduce us to dude.


FUCK ELVIN!!!!! 





                                                                                     Show: Family Matters

Characters: The entire cast of Family Matters. Except Myra, and the little sister that went upstairs, only to never came back down. She did nothing wrong but tell the truth to the Winslow’s. She doesn't deserve to be on this list because the sucka-ass Winslow’s did her wrong enough. Sh also did porn, which is OK.

What makes them horrible: Look at them? Just take a gander at the whole family. Carl Winslow just screams "I love the way my polish glistens on my toes." The whole cast was just a reject Huxtables and the only reason it was being watched was because TGIF was the shit and to not watch it meant you had no friends. I get pissed off that Nick at Nite keeps showing Family Matters and won't even put on Boy Meets World. Laura Winslow was the pre-teen's Poster Child. She was telling girls if the good guy keeps asking young out, get him the fuck out of here, but make sure you take his flowers and if you need toyou’re your kitty licked, have him do it, then get him out. Yep, that's Laura, poster strag. But she got all moist and speechless once Urkel threw on a suit and got his Billy-Dee on.

Prolifik: Yo, you aiight? That almost read personal fam, got a story to tell?

Q Double: I'm just saying, she aint have to play Steve like that! What he do but make inventions and robots and time machines and split personalities, all so he can smash Laura. But nahhhhhh, she was all "no Steve you can be my cuddle buddy." Fuck that strag.

P: Riiiigggghht.....proceed.

Then you got that S-curl kid Richie. I think Eddie was touching him in his room while he was lacing his head wit texurizer. Who signed off on this show? Better yet, who made this show last like 8 seasons? There’s nothing memorable about Family Matters or deserves to be acknowledge with any awards. Fuck Family Matters as a show, torrent, and syndication, and if you got Family Matters on DvD, fuck you too! Except Waldo Geraldo Faldo, he probably was the realest character on that show.

P: Yoooooo, lemme throw my 2cents in.

Q Dub: Take the floor then.

Show: Boy Meets World

Character: Minkus

What makes him horrible: His name is Minkus. That's grants him this slot. He got no pussy. Shawn was smashing the black girl; he didn’t even get a whiff of vagina juices. Minkus could have had Topanga before puberty kicked in, before she became pleasantly plumped in the right places. Minkus could have had it, but his masturbating with no lotion ass chose to excel in education then vanish from the face of the show. Minkus was a cornball, he's that filler shows use to fit a formula. Minkus represented nerds wrong; they made him the white Steve Urkel, GTFOHWTSABS!!!!! Yeah, Minkus is weak for one reason and one alone:


He had the yellow super soaker I always wanted and my moms said "fuck nah use the water hose."

Q Dub: So just because of you little mommy issue your ass don't fuck with Minkus? But I got the issues?

Show: Parent 'Hood

Character: Robert played by Robert Townsend

What makes him horrible: I was going give him the accolades of Five Heartbeats and Hollywood Shuffle before I give my reasons, but that's not orthodox hasidiclly christian of me so I'll get straight to the point. What were they thinking? This show has no laughs, no premise, no point, the show was just the clothes that you wear when you’re doing the laundry. The only reason we were drooling over Zaria was because there wasn’t nothing else on TV. They should do a "we are they now" for that show just so we can know who's greeting you at your local Wal-Mart. One of the characters had tarantula braids...muhfuckin spider braids. How can that show be taking seriously.

..Last but certainly not least...

The Parkers: 

What was UPN thinking???

Guido is The New Black

OH YES!!!! YES! YES! YES!

I must say, from the bottom of my black, soulless heart, thank you. Finally, there is an ethnicity that is being portrayed in a light that is offensive and stereotypical. Since black folk were on the ships crossing the vast Atlantic Ocean, we have been forced to do the Chicken George, Yezza-Massa dance. From that to the minstrel shows, to the token black guy in all those movies, yep, a change has come. 


Because now, Italians are becoming the ones, front and center, of the entertainment minstrel show. Yes people. Guido has become the new Mantan. 

Outbreak

DISCLAIMER: This news article is not an attack on the South. Just dumb sons of bitches in general. The author is actually from S.C. Still…kill yourself if you can’t take a joke.

OUTBREAK

By: Q. Busy

Contributions By: Matrix

"Fuck the dopeboy shit, to me it's played out/You still livin' wit ya moms runnin' ya mouth." -Rapper 'Matrix' on "Section 8 Anthem"

A virus has infiltrated and begun making its way through a small town in the upstate portion of the state of South Carolina. Officials are warning residents of Fountain Inn to be wary of the IaNR virus.

Uncharacteristic of many viruses, this particular strand of agent can be clearly seen without the aid of a light microscope and may easily replicate without being inside the living cells of another organism.

Early reports of those who have sighted the virus say that the virus normally travels in numbers of ten or more and are highly attracted to: tacky over-modified old automobiles, public displays of ignorance, and large wads of rubberbanded one-dollar bills.